DEAR DEIDRE: MY fiancée slept with another man but says she doesn’t like sex any more.
Our sex life went off a cliff after she had our daughter.
My fiancée has all of a sudden gone off sex despite just recently having a secret affair[/caption]
Our little girl is a year old, I’m 25 and my fiancée is 28.
We can go three months without sex.
If I suggest anything she goes mad and says she doesn’t like sex any more.
She went to a summer barbecue party while I was working and came back very late.
She denied anything happened but I found evidence she’d cheated – messages on her phone telling a friend about sex with a guy there, saying it was rubbish.
She finally admitted it and I forgave her. Now I just want her to start having great sex with me again.
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s not that easy, I’m afraid.
You need to unpick the issues behind her going off sex – having a baby and maybe feeling trapped at home.
Are you sure she finds the sex you share satisfying?
Tell her you love her for everything she is, not just for sex, but that sex is an important part of a close relationship.
Ask what would help her to enjoy sex again.
My e-leaflet on Sex Problems After A Baby should help.
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